Jealousy

Jealousy is a funny thing. It's the source of many a dispute between couples, and justifies (at least to one party) the most ludicrous of accusations. So how far you have to go to reach the realms of unreasonable jealousy?

Thinking back to times when I've felt this green emotion wash over me, I realise that it often is pretty ridiculous. There are those times where it may be understandable that I felt jealous, but my mind would scold myself for being overly possessive. In some cases, it is totally unjustified, such that it is embarrassing to even recall.

I have to confess to feeling uneasy about my boyfriend's previous relationships. I suppose that is not uncommon, which is why people are often advised not to mention their exes to their partner. But from a rational perspective, why should there be any discomfort if you truly believe they're over and done with?

Perhaps there's an element of competition, a pressure to at least live up to their standards.

I do recall a particularly ridiculous incident. There is a girl whom I've always been weary about, even though she was never in a relationship with my boyfriend. She wasn't totally unrelated, but it definitely wasn't enough to justify jealousy. Once, I was in class with her and she pulled out her phone. I thought it was the same model as my boyfriend's new phone, and this feeling of unease crept through me.

I later realised it wasn't the same model after all, but that's besides the point. Whatever the model of the phone, it certainly did not warrant jealousy. I remember telling myself off (in my head, of course) for being silly, and soon managed to stamp out the feeling. What bothers me, though, is that the feeling got there in the first place.

Perhaps I'm a lot more possessive than I'd like to admit.