Wednesday, October 14, 2009

Blogwatch: "Doubt" (All Men are Liars)

Sam de Brito posted an interesting entry a few days back re commitment in relationships. He ended it with:

"Doubts are natural. Commitment to see past them is what matters."

I just wonder how applicable this belief is to a late-teens/early-twenties relationship.

I think it's true that one has to work for a relationship. It would be naive to think that you would be able to find the perfect partner and everything will automatically click into place. You have to work over differences and compromise.

So I suppose the idea is, if the doubts are just niggling thoughts, then one should really just man up and face the difficulties.

But what about for younger relationships? At an age before permanently settling down is in mind, is it such a shame to let it go if things aren't naturally spic-span perfect?

I've been told that youth is the perfect opportunity to try things out, to experience life and to just have as much fun as possible. It is really that important, then, to hold on to something you have doubt for?

Yet there are two sides to every argument.

Youth can be an opportunity to learn about commitment, to practise the art of compromise and to rehearse life-after-vows.

Relationships are fascinating things. Success requires not just a coincidence of hearts, but of mentality and values. At the end of the day, it depends on the weight you place on the relationship, as opposed to what you may gain without it.

It depends on whether you're willing to create that coincidence, or whether you're happy to just let it go.

3 comments:

enzeru said...

Yes. Most men are liars. It's called pride. ^^

I think perhaps even late-teens/early-twenties relationships can be given the same amount of weighting as relationships that occur later in life. Certainly, the argument for such relationships at the ages of 12 to be taken seriously is slightly shaky, but perhaps don't delve into one without at least an idea where you will be ending up.

I don't think it's right to use the excuse of being young to justify "have as much fun as possible" in this context. Certainly, being young grants you a bit more free time, as well as not being chained down to society's expectations as you would when you get older, but it's no reason not to take everything just a seriously as you would 5, 10, 50 years down the track. Do you really want to look back in the future and think "Why did I do that? For 'fun'? What a different path I'd walk if I had to make that choice again."

~ cF ~ said...

enzeru: Perhaps you'll look back and think, "Why didn't I try things out when I had the chance?"

enzeru said...

@cF: I hope not. I think it's probably better if the person manages to settle themselves into a mindset that they will have as an older person during their mid-life. And the earlier the better. At the very least there will be consistency.