The race of friendship

I recently had a friend ask me if I minded the fact that he had seemingly usurped my place in my group of friends, i.e. he was becoming even closer to them that I was. I shrugged off the issue when he brought it up.

Upon reflection, however, it does seem like something worth thinking through.

I remember a rather awkward confrontation I had with another girl in Year 6. She had just transferred from another school, to find that I had best-befriended her (ex)best-friend. She oh-so-graciously forgave my ignorance about their previous relationship, but demanded that I let them sit next to each other from that day onwards.

Quite taken back, I remember apologising and appeasing her. Afterwards, though, it struck me what a ridiculous request she was making.

Friendships aren't about who gets there first - there's no "first in, first served" policy. Bonds develop quite naturally between people, and factors like personalities, circumstances and experiences will determine how strong these ties are.

Perhaps, if I had quicker reflexes, I would've kindly denied that Year 6 girl her wish. I would've explained to her that friendship is non-transferable. Even if I had wanted to fulfil her desires, there was nothing I could do to restore their best-friendship.

In today's scenario, I'm playing the opposite role, but the same attitude should apply. Friendships develop and change - it's quite inevitable.

If the developments bother me, I should be striving to improve the situation myself. Am I not spending enough time with my friends? Maybe I'm not paying enough attention to what they're up to. Or perhaps we've each moved on to a different stage of our respective lives. Whatever it may be, no one else should have to give way for me to "retain my position".

Does this mentality apply to romantic relationships? Perhaps that's a thought for another day.