"We can all begin freely - a slight preference is natural enough; but there are very few of us who have heart enough to be really in love without encouragement."
Thus observed Charlotte to Lizzie in Jane Austen's Pride and Prejudice. She then continued:
"In nine cases out of ten, a woman had better show more affection than she feels."
Charlotte's advice was given in an era when women were expected to play the passive role. The only way that a lady's romantic fantasy could become reality was if the object of her affections not only felt the same way, but also decided to take a step forward. Are Charlotte's words of wisdom still applicable?
It would be untrue to say that women today must still let themselves be the object of pursuit. Hopefully, the struggle for gender equality has at least ensured that.
Coming from a Chinese background, my views may be more conservative and traditional. I still think the male should make the first move. Yet knowing that not many would step forward without encouragement can be rather frustrating.
The girl's role is then to at least hint at her partiality. Perhaps a bit of differential treatment is all it takes to nudge him in the right direction.
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