To be different

謝安琪 <節外生枝>

Perhaps it's because I strive to be different that this song once greatly appealed.

捨平凡  愛動盪  人人其實有個願望
~ 知回頭  會是岸  仍昂然投入去這巨浪 ~
我所愛  我不改  千夫所責也不放
不愛看的不要看  也許我已厭了直航

既沒有網 在四方  就恨沒勇氣闖闖
~ 我這半世  未算趕  何妨迷路看風光 ~

~ I know the shore is just behind me, but I still dive into the huge waves ~
~ My life is not a rush -- why not lose my way and enjoy the view ~

---

Yet, when one grows up, attitudes change. Things happen that forces one to reflect on the past and re-assess whether the path which lays ahead is in fact desired.

A quote has caught my attention as of late.

'Do not choose to be wrong for the sake of being different'
-- Lord Samuel

I'm not sure who this Lord Samuel guy is/was, but he was onto something.

"I Don't Want to Miss a Thing" Aerosmith

The same song, heard at different times, can evoke different feelings. Aerosmith's "I Don't Want to Miss a Thing" is by no means a new song. Yet when I heard it last week, it inspired a new meaning, and through that, helped me make a decision I was struggling with.

But a misfortunate accident tipped the scales the other way, and now I am stuck with the cards that Chance has dealt me. I ponder the wisdom of the words:

As flies to wanton boys are we to the gods;
They kill us for their sport

One of my favourite Shakespearean quotes. Admittedly, my situation is significantly less dire than Gloucester's when he made that comment. And perhaps it could be argued that I brought the situation upon myself. But that does not deaden the pain. At any rate, it gives me an excuse to use the quote.

Back to the point at hand (the song, remember?). When I heard the ballad again yesterday, its effect on me had once again changed. I was overwhelmed with emotions of guilt and regret. Perhaps I had associated the song with my previous decision, which didn't end up playing out.

One of my less desirable characteristics is that I tend to immerse in self-pity whenever I encounter a hurdle I cannot overcome. Eventually, though, I know I will have to stand up tall and brave the situation.

---

I could stay awake just to hear you breathing
Watch you smile while you are sleeping
While you're far away and dreaming
I could spend my life in this sweet surrender
I could stay lost in this moment forever
Well, every moment spent with you
Is a moment I treasure

I don't wanna close my eyes
I don't wanna fall asleep
'Cause I'd miss you, babe
And I don't wanna miss a thing
'Cause even when I dream of you
The sweetest dream will never do
I'd still miss you, babe
And I don't wanna miss a thing

Lying close to you
Feeling your heart beating
And I'm wondering what you're dreaming
Wondering if it's me you're seeing
Then I kiss your eyes and thank God we're together
And I just wanna stay with you
In this moment forever, forever and ever

I don't wanna close my eyes
I don't wanna fall asleep
'Cause I'd miss you, babe
And I don't wanna miss a thing
'Cause even when I dream of you
The sweetest dream will never do
I'd still miss you, babe
And I don't wanna miss a thing

I don't wanna miss one smile
I don't wanna miss one kiss
Well, I just wanna be with you
Right here with you, just like this
I just wanna hold you close
Feel your heart so close to mine
And just stay here in this moment
For all the rest of time

Don't wanna close my eyes
Don't wanna fall asleep
'Cause I'd miss you, babe
And I don't wanna miss a thing
'Cause even when I dream of you
The sweetest dream will never do
'Cause I'd still miss you, babe
And I don't wanna miss a thing

I don't wanna close my eyes
I don't wanna fall asleep
'Cause I'd miss you, babe
And I don't wanna miss a thing
'Cause even when I dream of you
The sweetest dream will never do
I'd still miss you, babe
And I don't wanna miss a thing

Don't wanna close my eyes
Don't wanna fall asleep, yeah
I don't wanna miss a thing

---

PS You can so see the family remsemblance between the Tylers.

<搜神記> 容祖兒

當初膚淺　得你恩寵似升仙　天有眼
當真糊塗　未曾發覺我該俯瞰南極快沒有冰山
當初專心 等你燭光晚餐　從沒有認識蠟燭怎樣消散
當你的光環　暗過世間火柴何用困在五指山

~ 而神跡失靈才知天大地大轉得快 ~
夢幻的生涯無非拖手逛街
怪得誰 ~ 要敬拜你便沒視力靜觀世態 ~

忘掉誰是你　記住我亦有自己見地
無論你幾高　身價亦低過青花瓷器
評核我自己　只顧投資於愛情
困在你小宇宙損失對大世界的好奇

回味誰是你　往日有甚麼品味
只要敢遠飛　亦能自創我的搜神記
~ 磨練我自己　做人目光高過聚散分離 ~
就憑你　相愛大不了提升演技當做戲

從前只懂情人的感動力量　最珍貴
未洞悉小巷大街遍地華麗
昂起頭 看遍世界我也會有我的氣勢　

忘掉誰是你　記住我亦有自己見地
無論你幾高　身價亦低過青花瓷器
評核我自己　只顧投資於愛情
~ 困在你小宇宙損失對大世界的好奇 ~

回味誰是你　往日有甚麼品味
只要敢遠飛　亦能自創我的搜神記
磨練我自己　做人目光高過聚散分離
就憑你　相愛大不了提升演技當做戲

拋開你先識去審美　往後我便有自己見地
無論愛幾高　身價亦低過青花瓷器
評核我自己　只顧投資於愛情
困在你小宇宙損失看大世界的福氣

回味誰是你　往日有甚麼品味
只要敢遠飛　亦能自創我的煙花記
仇視我自己　若然目光高過聚散分離
~ 奉承你　因往日雙眼無珠不停放大你 ~
想快樂不靠神跡　才懂創世紀 

---

~ Only when the miracle ended did I realise that the world was so big and eventful ~

~ In admiring you, I lost the chance to carefully view the world ~

~ Training myself to see beyond relationships and separation ~

~ Stuck in your tiny universe, I lost my curiosity for the outside world ~

~ I worshipped you because you were continually accentuated in my eyes ~

---

I always have the urge to translate entire songs from Chinese into English, but I never get past the first few lines. Cantonese lyrics are too succinct for my English translations to give them justice.

O come, O come, Emmanuel

O come, O come, Emmanuel
I’m missing you
I’m waiting for your spell
Without you, my heart will fade
I’ll wither if your love is delayed

Chorus:
Come now, come on, Emmanuel
I’m waiting for your hypnotizing spell
Come now, come on, Emmanuel
I’m waiting for your hypnotizing spell

O come, O come, Adonai
I’m dreaming of your supernatural high
The thought of you is making me shine
Come fill in me with love divine

//Repeat chorus 3x

---

I have been totally enraptured by this mystic remix of the biblical hymn. It's used as one of the theme song in Born Rich, and plays in the scenes of forbidden love between Marcus and Angie.

It's interesting (and some may argue, inappropriate) that a piece about a religious prophesy could be modified thus, so as to fittingly complement the story of an extra-marital love affair.

"I don't believe you" Pink

I don’t mind it
I don’t mind at all
It’s like you’re the swing set
~ And I’m the kid that falls ~

It’s like the way we fight
The times I’ve cried
We come to blows
And every night
~ The passion’s there ~
So it’s got to be right
Right?

No I don’t believe you
When you say don’t come around here no more
I won’t remind you
You said we wouldn’t be apart

No I don’t believe you
When you say you don’t need me anymore
~ So don’t pretend to
Not love me at all ~

I don’t mind it
I still don’t mind at all
It’s like one of those bad dreams
When you can’t wake up
It looks like you’ve given up
You’ve had enough
~ But I want more ~
No I won't stop
Because I just know
You’ll come around
Right?

No I don’t believe you
When you say don’t come around here no more
I won’t remind you
~ You said we wouldn’t be apart ~

No I don’t believe you
When you say you don’t need me anymore
So don’t pretend to
Not love me at all

~ Just don’t stand there and watch me fall ~
Because I, because I still don’t mind at all

It’s like the way we fight
The times I’ve cried
We come to blows
And every night
The passions there
~ So it’s got to be right,
Right? ~

No I don’t believe you
When you say don’t come around here no more
I won’t remind you
You said we wouldn’t be apart

No I don’t believe you
When you say you don’t need me anymore
So don’t pretend to
Not love me at all

I don’t believe you

---

When I first heard Pink's "Please don't leave me", I was irked at how weak she sounded. I was thinking, Pink's meant to be tough and strong - why is she begging him to stay with her? Then I saw the MV and realised there was another interpretation to the song.

So, when I first heard this song, I checked to see if there was another take to it. Apparently not.

Still, I couldn't help but fall for it. Pink's deep voice brings out the feeling of pain really well. What really did it for me, though, was the short "Right?" she utters before the chorus. The tinge of uncertainty in the midst of conviction and resolve provided a contrast which really stood out.

I suppose it's nice to occasionally see a different side.

Playlist: <<氫氣球>> 蔡卓妍

I only just noticed the lyrics to this song. Very interesting metaphor, likening a relationship to holding onto a helium balloon.

---

不敢跟你投訴　我每天心底的惶恐
不想給你電話　原是你聲線冷又凍
若我那些煩惱絲剪去　能為你織成半匹布
時常為念掛你　而磨蝕了體重

手中氫氣球　要浮上半空只因心頭很高
可惜飛上上空　隨時自爆使你我亦痛
若你太輕浮太想高飛　而難道我只能死心塌地
~ 如無力獨佔你　就試着放開你 ~

微雨裡停在馬路口
輕輕一笑　氣球放開手
~ 彼此都有了自由 ~　不必擔心失去
最灑脫是沒擁有
忘記你前路繼續
走衷心祝你　暢遊全宇宙
讓我的一切畏懼掛念浮上那雲層極厚

一起走過城市　常怕滿街小偷將你牽走
很想裝作強者　然而自信心永遠未足夠
~ 若你太輕浮太想高飛　而難道我只能死心塌地 ~
如無力獨佔你　就試着放開你

微雨裡停在馬路口
輕輕一笑　氣球放開手
彼此都有了自由　不必擔心失去
最灑脫是沒擁有
忘記你前路繼續走
~ 衷心祝你　暢遊全宇宙 ~
讓我的一切畏懼掛念浮上那雲外飛走

微雨裡停在馬路口
天空海濶　氣球要飛走
彼此都有了自由　不必擔心失去
~ 最灑脫是沒擁有 ~
談情說愛常沒法白首
拋得開我又再換個對手
在這天找到勇氣以後忘記你才是得救

---

~ If I know I can't have you to myself, I'll try to let you go ~

~ Now we both have freedom ~

~ If you want to float away to greater heights, is being hopelessly devoted all I can do? ~

~ Sincerely wishing that you will traverse the entire universe ~

~ Most carefree when I don't have anything ~

---

Once again, a (half)Twins song probably isn't the best to live by. But it works.

Playlist: "Thinking of You" Katy Perry

Comparisons are easily done once you've had a taste of perfection
Like an apple hanging from a tree I picked the ripest one
~ I still got the seed ~

You said move on where do I go?
I guess second best is all I will know

Cause when I'm with him I am thinking of you
~ Thinking of you ~
What you would do if you were the one who was spending the night
Oh I wish that I was looking into your eyes

You're like an Indian summer in the middle of winter
~ Like a hard candy with a surprise center ~
How do I get better once I've had the best
You said there's tons of fish in the water
So the waters I will test

He kissed my lips I taste your mouth
He pulled me in I was disgusted with myself

Cause when I'm with him I am thinking of you
Thinking of you
What you would do if you were the one who was spending the night
Oh I wish that I was looking into...

You're the best and yes I do regret
How I could let myself let you go
Now the lesson's learned
~ I touched it I was burned ~
Oh I think you should know

Cause when I'm with him I am thinking of you
Thinking of you
What you would do if you were the one who was spending the night
Oh I wish that I was looking into your eyes

~ Looking into your eyes ~
Looking into your eyes
Oh won't you walk through
And bust in the door and ~ take me away ~
Oh no more mistakes
~ Cause in your eyes I'd like to stay ~
Stay...

---

I used to wonder whether you could openly use this song to represent your feelings. Surely, it'd be too cruel to the poor guy you are now with?

Perhaps, if you don't care enough about what your new beau thinks, then it's problem solved.

Playlist: "Nothing's Gonna Change My Love for You" 方大同

Khalil Fong's version of Glenn Medeiros's song seems quite sufficient to melt anyone's heart.

---

If I had to live my life without you near me
The days would all be empty
The nights would seem so long

With you I see forever oh so clearly
I might have been in love before
~ But it never felt this strong ~

Our dreams are young and we both know
They'll take us where we want to go
Hold me now, touch me now
~ I don't want to live without you ~

Nothing's gonna change my love for you
You ought to know by now how much I love you
One thing you can be sure of
~ I'll never ask for more than your love ~

Nothing's gonna change my love for you
You ought to know by now how much I love you
The world may change my whole life through
But nothing's gonna change my love for you

If the road ahead is not so easy
~ Our love will lead the way for us ~
Like a guiding star

I'll be there for you if you should need me
You don't have to change a thing
~ I love you just the way you are ~

So come with me and share the view
I'll help you see forever too
Hold me now, touch me now
I don't want to live without you

~ Nothing's gonna change my love for you ~
You ought to know by now how much I love you
One thing you can be sure of
I'll never ask for more than your love

Nothing's gonna change my love for you
You ought to know by now how much I love you
The world may change my whole life through
But nothing's gonna change my love for...

Nothing's gonna change my love for you
You ought to know by now how much I love you
One thing you can be sure of
I'll never ask for more than your love

Nothing's gonna change my love for you
You ought to know by now how much I love you
The world may change my whole life through
But nothing's gonna change my love for you

Playlist: <<多謝失戀>> Twins

回頭是場空 大地回冬 初分手數天 總會痛
仍然在途中 ~ 只好相信 雨過後有彩紅 ~

曾落空 先知我 因為愛 曾經多英勇
曾為愛上你面紅 夠我閉上大門 在慶功

全靠當天喜歡過錯的人 今天先會自我解窘
~ 明白小小的失戀不害人 更加添我成熟感 ~
無法一起都總算愛過些人 借過你體溫 練習擁吻
留下你合照細望 才知道 我跟他人更合襯

從前學年中 自命情種 ~ 一出手 愛得比較重 ~
來年換時空 應該長進 再愛定更松容

曾撞板 先知我 因為愛 曾經多失控
回望過去也面紅 愛上你似漫遊 外太空

全靠當天喜歡過錯的人 今天先會自我解窘
明白小小的失戀不害人 更加添我成熟感
無法一起都總算愛過些人 ~ 借過你體溫 練習擁吻 ~
留下你合照細望 才知道 我跟他人更合襯

全靠當天喜歡過錯的人 今天先會自我解窘
~ 無論初戀多麼的感動人 更好的愛前面等 ~
無法一起都總算愛過些人 借過你體溫 練習擁吻
明白要讓我這樣年輕過 至懂得誰最合襯

---

~ I can only believe that a rainbow follows the rain ~

~ Understanding that a small break up is harmless - it just makes me more mature ~

~ Once I loved, I loved too deeply ~

~ Borrowed the warmth of your body for practice ~

~ No matter how touching the first love is, a better one awaits ahead ~

---

I'm not sure whether living by a Twins song is all that advisable, but the attitude seems a healthy one.

Perhaps the perfect teenage gospel.

Playlist: "Hopelessly Devoted to You" Olivia Newton John

Guess mine is not the first heart broken
My eyes are not the first to cry
I'm not the first to know
There's just no gettin' over you

Hello, I'm just a fool who's willing
To sit around and wait for you
But baby can't you see
There's nothin' else for me to do

~ I'm hopelessly devoted to you ~

But now there's nowhere to hide
Since you pushed my love aside
I'm out of my head
Hopelessly devoted to you
Hopelessly devoted to you
Hopelessly devoted to you

My head is saying, "Fool, forget him"
My heart is saying, "Don't let go"
Hold on to the end
That's what I intend to do

I'm hopelessly devoted to you

But now there's nowhere to hide
Since you pushed my love aside
I'm out in my head
Hopelessly devoted to you
Hopelessly devoted to you
Hopelessly devoted to you